lonely fear lights up the sky

I think I'm feeling the repercussions of not opening up to others and not being true to myself. It has always been fine suppressing my emotions, running away from my problems. However, I'm finally paying the price. I'm finally feeling all the pain that I have suppressed while saying that I am or I will be fine. I am finally opening up to others and somehow, I don't feel any better. I'm finding out things that I have never known before. I'm realising that others still have that same expectations of me, while I have been hiding the truth that I have changed to become someone worse. I'm finally realising that I have always kept myself in my own little bubble, not allowing others to fully understand me. I have become more unsure of myself but others still think that I am still capable of everything. I have changed but the world hasn't. I am just becoming a great disappointment.

can't help but wonder why, you're so far away