I realised that I push people further away from me when I'm not in a good mood. I ignore messages, calls, and not care about whatever I'm supposed to do. All sorts of emotions overwhelm me.

Been thinking a lot this few days, mostly about school. Been thinking so much tears just pour out from my eyes. That unsure and insecure moment about everything. The decisions that I have to make. What hurts me the most is that my family members have no idea what I'm going through.

Dear Mum and Dad.
If you ever read this, most likely never, you might have some questions in your head. Let me answer them now. Yes, your daughter isn't as strong as she seems. She might be a little arrogant but honestly, she's a bitch. Yes, your daughter cries. She cries when she's alone in the room and you are outside fussing about whatever else that is happening. She cries when she is unable to understand the worksheets and unable to solve the questions. She cries when she feels like she doesn't fit in the prestigious school. She cries when she feels inferior. She cries when she feels like there isn't a goal in her life. I told you your daughter is just some coward, dumb ass bitch.

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